I got picked up from the Riu Palace at 4:30 am on Monday, November 27th. I was the first of my comrades to leave…
Leaving the Riu Palace (our all inclusive resort) would become more of a challenge than it was entering. You see, from the moment you land in Cabo, you are a wanted man. The taxi window was happy and available to drive us to the Riu, and I can’t say I blame them. I would be happy too if I could charge $100 per 30 minute trip. Luckily, there’s a polite way to wipe that smile off the cashier’s face: “Charge this credit card in pesos, por favor”. That simple request of mine saved our group $35 (1,200 pesos is the “local’s” price, converts to about $65 USD as of this post.), and their hesitant display of compliance ensured me of that.
But as I mentioned, the challenges present themselves when “departure time” rolls around. I’ll break down all three:
First off, there are the physical ones. In my case, a 4:00am wake up alarm doesn’t sound great after 4 days of all-inclusive drinks and food. To my own surprise, I was at least smart enough to end my last night in peace; smoking a Montecristo while looking out to sea. The previous 3 nights would still leave an impact for days to come. They consisted of what felt like endless rounds at the bar, dancing into the wee hours, and making return trips to the 24 Hour Riu Lounge. This lounge was home to perhaps the most insulting spread of food on the planet. Examples include: Nacho cheese that made Kraft taste gourmet, Burgers, Hot Dogs, and stale buns meant to accommodate a pathetic drunk man. For three nights, I was that drunk man (As were my comrades, but why spread the icky cheese sauce around?). For the record, I can’t say I regret any of my trips to the 24 Hour Lounge. The displays of bafoonery amongst my peers were too precious in these moments to imagine life without them. One of our comrades attempted to wash nacho cheese off his hands, not realizing that the water dispenser was not a sink. The cleaning crew didn’t appreciate the pool of water on the floor, but in the name of entertainment, I kinda did. This same comrade would fall down a set of stairs 10 minutes later, only to pop up relatively unharmed. With all that being said, the physical damage to my body was a lot to bear when that alarm clock went off Monday morning.
Secondly, there are the mental challenges. There are a lot of questions that run through your head when spending a Thanksgiving holiday in Cabo San Lucas. These questions include (but are not limited to): Was this necessary? Does it matter? Will I ever want to drink again? Does my family understand this decision? Do I understand this decision? Etc. etc. etc. Most of these questions made their way into my head AFTER it was all said and done. Upon landing in Mexico, these questions went more like: Will I drink more beer or liquor? Can I eat 5 tacos or 10? Is wearing this sombrero all weekend going to get me in trouble? When Monday morning rolled around, they became: Will I survive work today? And Will I actually make it back home?
Thirdly (and finally), there were the logistical challenges. These are the reasons that forced me on a 4:30 am Super Shuttle. Although airport shuttle service could be arranged through the hotel, they deemed my 8:25am return flight home “too early” (unless paying for a private chauffeur, that is). My next best option came in the form of said Super Shuttle, which was really just a white van. Surprise surprise, I would be the only one riding in that van back to the airport…in the dark. Once realizing this, I did the following: a) Shared my Iphone location with the comrades back at the hotel b) tracked my progress on google maps c) Pieced together an action scene in my head, in which I miraculously escape a cartel kidnapping. As you can probably guess, nothing bad ended up happening. But it did make me think, Man! If they ever wanted a chance! My sombrero and I hopped out of the van at 5:00am, and back into the Cabo airport. The next inconvenience was the 3 hours I had to kill before the flight home. To this day, I still have no idea why Super Shuttle had to pick me up at 4:30am. It’s as if they were punishing me for finding the cheapest ride back ($22 USD).
For those who know me well, you know the drill. I landed back in LA, hopped in a Lyft home, showered, and got into work by 11:00am (Thanksgiving airport traffic really slowed this one down). As semi-expected, my immune system would collapse about an hour later, and I would wind up in bed for the remainder of the day. “You can’t win ‘em allll!!!!” – Nabeel when playing “3 Man” in Cabo.
—————————————————————
Post Note:
Oh fuck, I almost forgot to include cool travel spots and stuff! If you want to explore neat shit outside of the resorts, be sure to water taxi over to Divorce/Lover’s beach and check out the marine life. The Arc is also quite pretty. If you’re a big baller like Beau and Paul, spend and extra day swimming with whale sharks! I’ve heard wonderful things about this day trip, and will remain forever jelly, brah!
If you dare to eat local:
Tacos Guss – Just beyond the line where streets begin to look shady, sits an amazing family taco shop. Some of the better tacos I’ve had in my life, washed down with some sugar cane Coca Cola, of course.
That’s all folks! I still need to figure out where I’m heading in January, but will look forward to Big Bear in the meantime.
Travel Boners 